More Twilight-hating things

This past week I've stumbled upon four more commentaries on Twilight that make me think, but mostly make me just roll my eyes at Twilight-haters:

(This link list is mostly because it's the very end of NaBloPoMo and I won't mess it up for all these lovely ladies who kept the posting up over Thanksgiving weekend!)

1. A Cracked article on the New Moon movie

I love Cracked. I think they consistently come out with some witty stuff. But this article should have stopped after the storyboard, which was mildly funny because it's true. Also the little hand-drawn characters are cute.

Also, this is the poorest written Cracked article I've seen, with awkward paragraphs like this charmer:

"So what is the plot? Because of a paper-cut Edward leaves Bella."

It only makes it worse that further down the article the author goes on to complain about how bad Stephenie Meyer's writing is.

2. This YouTube video of "Alex Reads Twilight: Ch.2"

Now this guy is just the essence of jumping on the IHateTwilightOMGThatMakesMeSoBadassAndMaybeGivesMePointsForWomensRights bandwagon.

He doesn't read the chapter to give it any sort of a chance. He chooses the worst passages. He views it from the eyes of a - woah! - young snarky man, who is NOT the intended audience of the book. He doesn't give a damn about any young woman's possible ideas of romance.

I do give him points for having a cute British accent, though.

3. This joke encouragement poster about moms who love Edward

It's funny because it's true. It's scarily true. Yikes!

4. This YouTube video of "SDCC09 - Kevin Smith talks about Twilight"

I really like this bit of stand-up. At the 2009 San Diego Comic Con, Kevin Smith talks about why Twilight haters are lame, but also indulges a little bit on why Twilight could be an unhealthy obsession.

His main conclusion? We all have unhealthy obsessions. Who are you to judge another's unhealthy obsession?

I agree with him whole-heartedly.

Okay so now it's your turn to give me your honest opinion on Twilight. This is why I LOVE it. But I promise to respect you whatever your opintion is!

OMGLikeTotallyHeyLoveTTYLziesIHateTheMedia

I've got an alpha female complex.

I'm totally NOT an alpha female – OhMyHeart can vouch for that after watching me bow down to my intimidating roommates for a year when she lived with me. I am: a delicate flower. I am NOT: girly.

Blllleeeeeecccchhhhh, GIRLY. The word makes me nauseous. I've been fighting through my pre-teen, young woman, college gal and now ProYo years to make sure I was never described to people as short, brunette and GIRLY.

But then, bout a week ago, a coworker asked me: What's so wrong with being girly?

Hmm. It made me think. Is it bad?

Of course being a materialistic cake-face is undesirable, but it made me realize that perhaps I should be embracing my femininity. It's easier than fighting it; or rather it's easier than fighting the media.

In the last few months my most viewed television shows have been Project Runway and Say Yes to the Dress. It's shameful. In fact, I think you are the first ones to whom I've confessed; I usually just go on and on about The Office and Flight of the Concords whenever TV shows come up in conversation, when really I could be gushing to you about the cut, designer and PRICE of the most fabulous wedding dress I saw on TLC the other day.

So now, another question: Is it my fault, or the media's?

All the great women are the classic combo: they can kick ass in a contest of athleticism but in their free time they wouldn't be caught dead without their D&G sunglasses. And I want to be like them, but I'm having a hard time fusing the two personalities. If I talk about the new shoes I bought and how cute they are I will be stigmatized but if I only talk about how many miles I ran yesterday, I'll be bored. Oy Vey.

And the sad thing is, this is all based on my fear that some day I will be on one of those Real World/Road Rules challenges on TV and be a weak competitor. I hate the media.

Holiday gifts for everone on your list

Black Friday is over and Cyber Monday is right around the corner. Have you found the perfect gift yet?

Yeah.

Me either.

Thankfully, Women's Health Magazine has created a list of hot gifts for everyone on your list. Seriously, they cover everyone from your coworker to your man.

My sister, the fashionista and lover of all things jewelry, is getting the fabulous Grayce by Molly Sims Abstract they suggested (Shhh! Don't tell her!).

Check out the list and get your shopping done before the gift giving season creeps up on you!

Like, We AREN'T Kids Anymore

Sometimes I really wish I still had the innocence of a child at the holidays.

• Santa would still exist
• Zero Responsibility
• Basically the only thing on your mind is the fact that you are on vacation from school...and having fun.

Hello, Reality.

Well, this was me last year. This year, I just ended up with a lot of free time for my mind to wander. Are you able to keep your mind off work for an entire holiday? I still though about my mixture of jobs/other responsibilities/boys at times rather than focusing on the conversation/activity at hand. Then you have the whole "distraction of technology"...texting, Iming, and Facebook. Oy.

I wonder how many adults are 100% CHECKED IN to a family get-together? Not counting the TV which was probably on at some point.

Like, Keep the Fluff in the Mashed Potatoes

It's Thanksgiving. Last night a bit of my extended family already got together in celebration of my younger brother's 18th birthday. We had Thai. I think the curry gave me a stomach ache. I'm currently sitting around waiting for my grandad and uncle to come over for a pre-Thanksgiving "snack." The rest of my immediate family is going to my mom's side of the family for Thanksgiving. I will not be doing that. I will be heading back with my grandad and uncle to visit with my dad's [aka. my favorite] side of the fam.

I never realized how much holiday drama probably occurred as a kid over who is going where. My parents just decided for me. Now at 24 I get to make that call on my own. I'm an out-of-town guest too since I live 1.5 (or 3 with traffic) hours from Richmond, VA.

The food probably will be better at my mom's side of the family. But when it comes down to it. NO. I do NOT wish to catch up with people I haven't seen in a year and talk about how I was laid off from a well-paying job. I am making ends meet part-time nannying/apartment sitting/and working at a gym. NO, I don't have a boyfriend. I just have guy friends who things aren't going to work out with. "Guess I'm just a hott piece of meat, much like this turkey. Could you pass some of that please?" "And yes, I did hear about so-and-so getting married. Tell her I said congratulations."

OhMyHeart jokingly told me I could be OhMyQuarterLifeCrisis instead of OhMyLaughter in terms of my "niche" on this blog. I don't think I'll be changing my name anytime soon. OMQLC is way too long and doesn't have as much of a ring to it. However, if anyone is like me and wants to gag after about 1.5 items of "I am thankful for..." blog posts/FB status updates/and tweets. Well, you've come to the right place.

I consider myself an optimist. Really I do. But, there is a lot of crap that occurred in 2009 that I'm NOT thankful for. Actually, that's what I'll list.

What I'm NOT Thankful For:
-Getting laid off
-Geographic Unavailability
-Being a Rebound
-A shitty "friend"... well "not-friend"..but that takes us into a double negative
-And my car was towed last weekend.

I'm capable of sucking all this up and not discussing it outside of this post. That's what I'll have to do at Thanksgiving dinner anyway. But, I think I should just stay off of Facebook for the day. I DON'T CARE that you are THANKFUL FOR TURKEY. You know what, me too. Why the HELL do five of your facebook friends have a comment for that? It's noon. They aren't drunkingly liking everything that loads. Most of these people commenting AREN'T related to you or eating the same turkey as you are anyway. And while the positives of family get-togethers do tend to outweigh the negatives, if we were all being honest there would be more status updates like the following:

-Can't wait to see my aunt who can never remember how old I am or that I graduated from college.

-Can't wait to hear the juicy gossip on what the black sheep of our family has been up to! At least I still have it together more than him/her.

-I think Aunt Mary took the statement "Take a picture it will last longer" a little too much to heart.

-Is eating dessert to make Grandma happy.

-The Lions suck. What's new?

We are American. By default, everyone is celebrating this holiday. And, I do appreciate the low commercialization of Thanksgiving. This year I'll be with the members of my family that know enough about my life I can avoid a 2009 recap. And, being able to keep the fluff in the Mashed Potatoes, alone, is enough for me to be thankful.

International Day for Elimination of Violence Against Women

A global campaign to tackle physical, sexual and psychological violence against women launched today and will commence on December 10th.

In 1999, the United Nations General Assembly declared November 25, as the International Day for Elimination of Violence Against Women and invited governments, International Organizations and NGOs to organize activities designated to raise public awareness of the problem.

November 25th was chosen in memory of Mirabal sisters, political activists of the Dominican Republic, who were brutally assassinated on November 25, 1960, on the orders of the ruler of Dominican Republican, Rafael Trujillo.

To lean more or to see what you can do to help women around the globe, see below:

Say No- UNiTE
Ending Violence Against Women: A Day At The U.N.
The International Day for Elimination of Violence Against Women

When it rains, it pours

I've finally met a guy I'm really interested in. OhMyHeart said she's never seen me so excited over a guy before. And things are going well so far.

So why is now the time when all the boys seem to come out of hibernation? I thought we were heading into winter, not out of it.

After my first date with the new guy, I went to a wedding where I reconnected with a friend I've known since high school, but never saw a lot. He invited me up to the "after-party" in his room, but I politely declined, knowing that it couldn't end well. However, we've been emailing back and forth pretty much every day since. That's really all there is to that. Well, except I think he used to have a thing for me, but he's geographically unavailable. So he's definitely in the just friends territory.

This week, my summer fling texted me saying he was back for the holidays and wanted me to visit him at work. I gave noncommittal answers or just didn't respond to his texts. I find out through the power of Facebook that he is single (unlike his "on a break" status this summer). Last night, he texts again and I finally ask, what are you after? "Seeing you. I miss your Pam-ness" (of The Office) and "I'll make you feel like a college girl again" (for some reason, that statement really creeps me out).

Today while in the Finance department talking to a couple friends, one of them blurts out, "Are you single?" After a hesitating "Why?" from me, she continues, talking to the guy behind her, "And you're single. You two should date!" Where did this come from? I hear from a fairly reliable source that he was hinting around at my dating status. But he's not my type and I allowed that conversation to end in awkward laughter.

Why all of this now? Is there some sort of radar that guys pick up that tells them: OhMyFancy's attention is diverted by another male! Must try to gain it!

I'm flattered by the attention because, well, who wouldn't be? And as tempted as I am to hang out with the summer fling since it would be a fun power trip, I don't want to screw up anything with the new guy.

Seriously, about the radar though. Guys? Is there some signal that girls put out that says, I'm heading into romantically unavailable territory? And don't tell me it's a lack of desperation in our auras because LOMB girls are not those types of girls.

Bella from Twilight and other women in literary fantasy worlds

Everyone's obsessed with Twilight lately, what with New Moon coming out. And I must admit, I loved the books. I sobbed at the end of every one.

The movies, eh, I could care less about. I saw the first one with my mom and sister, and will probably end up at New Moon at some point or another. Bella just does not portray well on screen, especially with Kristen Stewart's interpretation.

So there are people who absolutely love love LOVE Twilight. And there are people who absolutely hate hate HATE it. Mostly the nay-sayers are lame people who haven't even tried to read any of them and are most likely snarky males who are just jealous they don't have the panty-dropping skills that an imaginary vampire does.

But there are nay-sayers who occasionally speak a word of truth about the Twilight series that disturbs me. Twilight is setting up so many tween girls for a life of - best case scenario - disappointment because no man in real life is like the men/vampires/werewolves portrayed in today's media.

Worst case scenario - they end up in a controlling, violent relationship based on "passion," instead of mutual respect, clear communication, sexual attraction and fun & happiness.

So let's go back to the last obnoxious tween book-to-movie series sensation that swept millions - this time of girls AND boys - off their feet. Yes. I'm talking Harry Potter.

I picked the series back up again at book five like eight years later after I put it down after I read book four right after it came out. I kind of remember why I put it down in the first place.

The character who us lovely, budding young ladies are supposed to learn the most from (and I do especially relate to her because of my curly, frizzy hair [like a pre-makeover Anne Hathaway in Princess Diaries] and my, like, totally awesome brains, obviously) is Hermione.

Hermione is respected by the teachers. Hermione is clearly the smartest student at the school. But her supposed best friends reject her ideas and scoff at her warnings on every other page. Ohhh it's just Hermione. Silly Hermione, she always wants to study.

Plus, not nearly enough smart boys are flirting with her, besides a long distance pen pal-ship with some German quidditch dude I think.

(Don't do it Hermione! He isn't geographically available!)

Anyway - hair type and too much homework aside - I've started to get worried. What are these incredibly successful business women (I've got to hand it to Stephenie Meyer and J.K. Rowling for their incredible ideas, their ability to build worlds and their bags and bags of money) teaching us about how to be a female character?

I posed this question to my boyfriend one night (geez, at this point I should really change my blog name to OhMyInterestingThingsMyBoyfriendSays). Why aren't there more popular female heroines? Why aren't they portrayed in a way so that tweens can become obsessive fans over them and intellectuals can agree that they're a good example for young'uns today?

He gave me another example. Wonder Woman, he says, is a top three player in the D.C. Comic universe. She's just as powerful and just as much of a leader as Superman and Batman. However, in our universe, her sales and popularity has been appallingly low, compared to her male counterparts.

(I know I have too many asides in this post as it is - but in light of my recent posts, I feel like I must point out he is not a video-games-and-comic-books-only nerdy guy. He's great. And, like, totally popular. Not a vampire or a wizard, but I did the best I could.)

So anyway, where are the strong women characters? Of our time or others? How come we've come far enough for women to not have to write behind pseudonyms and instead become powerfully popular literary icons? But we haven't come far enough for those women to invent useful female characters?

Do you have any examples to prove me wrong?

They call me “Jake” – an introduction

Special note from the LikeOhMyBlog girls: We're happy to have a new guest blogger, "Jake" join the team. He'll be popping up here and there to give us a testosterone infused perspective on things. See his introduction post below. We love him, and we hope you do to! Got any questions for Jake, guy, dating, etc? Leave them in the comments below!



“Jake” here, well, that’s what they call me. After reading your blog over the past two years, I decided to contact you lovely ladies. When I got over my sweaty nervous palms and asked to be a contributing writer, you said yes. Reminded me of asking a girl to the 8th grade dance.




I’m here to give you my perspective, not saying all guys (boys, men, whatever you want to call us) share this perspective, but hopefully it’ll clue you into our simple, simple minds.

Backing up, here are a couple things about me - Single, consider myself in the good guy category, and full of really bad jokes. I don’t date around just to sleep around, I’m not afraid of commitment (well, I call it consistency), I demand a lot out of life, and I have no skills to pick up women at the bar. I put myself in the ‘nerd’ category, too. My goal in life (second to having a relationship with God) is to wake up each morning next to my gorgeous wife laying in bed, smiling at each other.

After reading your blog, I want to get one of those “First things first” out of the way. I feel that about 90% of women are fantastic (couple crazies in there), and just because you might not be with someone doesn’t mean you won’t be with anyone. Timing is everything – when it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.

So, being that there are many women (err…girls?) who read LikeOhMyBlog, what do I look for in a woman? I look for a trustworthy, funny, in shape, non-emotional basket case, attractive best friend who challenges me and knows me better than I know myself. Simple. I want my soul mate to be my best friend.

Now through upcoming guest blog posts, I hope to fill you all in on my perspective and I look forward to challenging you girls (err…women?) to be the best as you can. Questions? Bring ‘em on!

BTW – My worst nightmare was mentioned on a post, November 7 ‘The Schmoozer"...

“Now whether she meant professionally or personally, I don't know, but I have a feeling it was almost a warning to me. Anyway, I left our meeting with the thought I'd never want to date him, but would let him take me out to dinner because I had the feeling he would pick an expensive restaurant.”

Til next time,

Jake

On Being Ignored

I understand if Creepy McCreeperson won’t stop texting you, or if crazy ex is calling only to shout obscenities. Both cases almost necessitate ignoring the attempts at communication. Otherwise, I think ignoring people is miserable and wrong.

Well, not all people. It’s easier to just ignore some people until they get the hint and move on. But – if you’re being ignored by someone who is supposed to “care” about you, it is immoral.

Use your heart. Sometimes we really don’t want to talk to people, but ignorance is the worst kind of indifference, which is worse than abhorrence. Everyone says the opposite of love is hate, but the opposite of love is really apathy; at least hatred elicits emotion.

At the very least, call your friend back and tell him/her you are tied up and will get back to him/her when you are free. Then you can wait until you are in a good enough mood to be able to tolerate whomever it is that you just don’t want to call back. The conversation doesn’t even have to be long. Or – tell whomever that you just don’t like talking on the phone/texting and then if he/she calls or texts you constantly thereafter, that’s his/her bad.

I just don’t like being ignored. If I’m bothering you that much, then man up and tell me why. It’s insulting. And the more you ignore me, the crazier it makes me.

I know you have an iPhone or a Blackberry or some kind of smart Internet-savvy phone that you are on constantly. What the hell is the point of you owning a cellular phone if you are not going to phone anybody? You should not be spending that much money on a device if you are not going to use it for its intended purpose. Because I know you also have a computer.

If we all started ignoring each other, the world would stop turning. So don’t strive

to be the first?

I think this post was really fueled by the fact that I want to feel like this

again.

Friends, Lovers or Nothing

Agreed.






Now that we are over
As the loving kind
We'll be dreaming ways
To keep the good alive

Only when we want is not
A compromise
Ill be pouring tears
Into your drying eyes

Friends, lovers, or nothing
There can only be one
Friends, lovers, or nothing
We'll never be the inbetween
So give it up

You whisper "Come on over"
Cause your two drinks in
But in the morning I will say
Good-bye again

Think we'll never fall into
The jealous game
The streets will flood
With blood of those who felt the same

Friends, lovers, or nothing
You see
There can only be one
Friends, lovers, or nothing
We'll never an inbetween
So give it up

Friends, lovers, or nothing
We can really only ever be one
Friends, lovers, or nothing
Don't you know
We'll never be the inbetween
So give it up

No we'll never the inbetween
So give it up

How To: Become a Cougar at 24

Just to recap, I’m now working in a gym part time. This environment couldn’t be more different than corporate America and I love it. The free gym membership is also a nice perk. Since a college degree isn’t really essential for what I’m doing, some of my co-workers are younger than me by a few years. NBD. UNTIL the 19 year old at work developed a crush on me. This guy is pretty huge athletically and I would say he looks older than 19. Probably 21. Although I’m now 24…..

Anyway, ever since I started working there he would come into the gym and talk to me on my shifts. It helped the time pass by so I didn’t mind. He was kind of fun to joke around with, although usually it was me being funny, and him just laughing.

Eventually, he put himself out there. He told me he thought I was really hott. I think I made some comment like “I thought you might be interested since you are always here”…and told him a story about a different guy friend falling for me. Basically, changing the subject and avoiding doing anything with this piece of information. Two weeks later he told me again he thought I was hott, and that he liked me, because I had a fun personality and I’m fun to hang out with. “Do you know how hard that is to find in a girl?”

I was like “Yes!” [Bahaha. I’m convinced humor is one of the best things in life.] Then I got asked to do something by my manager, so that conversation was also cut short. Probably a good thing.

Besides the fact, that it seems so wrong for me to date a 19 year old…He’s not really doing a good job with putting the actions behind his statements. Some of the guys at work watch college football on Saturdays. 19er has told me every week since I started working at the gym “You should come.” I already had plans for about a month. But after that I was like “I’m free this weekend and next. I can come one time, just let me know.” NO FOLLOW THOUGH. (Strike 1).

One day he asked me to go to lunch. I drive all the way to Alexandria where he lives. For Chipotle….HE DOESN’T PAY. (Strike 2). I’m not the type of girl who wants to go on dates just so the guy will pay for me, but if he was interested, once again he didn’t show it. After lunch I met his cousin who was even more immature than him, and realized I would have rather been by myself than hanging out with this guy. Bad news for him.

He’s body image conscious. Is always talking about losing more weight/getting a six pack. And even told me he needs to figure out who he is. Honestly, I was probably in a similar spot at 19. Not one of those girls who went around saying I was fat, but I worked out all the time. And I had no clue where my life was headed. He’s like a less cool version of my younger brother (who is 17). My brother and all of his friends are hilarious.

I could go into all the other reasons I don’t want to date this guy. But instead I’ll summarize with the fact that HE CAN'T GO TO A BAR. Meaning he can’t hang out with any of my other friends. (Strike 3--And, He’s done.)

I think my consistent lack of interest is turning the 19er off. He knows about the other guys in my life. And while he can’t say I’m falling for assholes, I’m blowing him off because he is so young. He made this comment that “Girls don’t like him until he starts being an asshole to them, then all of a sudden they are interested.”

Now he is barely talking to me. When he left the gym yesterday all he said to me was “Peace” without making eye contact. There probably is some truth to girls falling for assholes, but…it’s more of a cocky and funny type attitude…not plain rudeness.

I DON’T LIKE HIM. I actually am glad he’s not hanging around me. I watched him disrespect a manager who was trying to talk to him. What is he thinking?

Probably the reason I seem[ed] so cool to him is that I've actually figured life out a bit more than a girl his age. As much as rejection sucks, it’s a part of life. And “Life’s a game, but it's not fair.” (You tell 'em Rihanna.) I’m realizing the better you can handle disappointments…the more prepared you are for something or someone even better. Maybe 19er will realize that in, like, well 5 years.

Would these 5 things ruin a date?

I've never really been one for dating rules. Honestly, I think a lot of it is just common sense and that's why I like this post from Nate Bagley on the, Five Things that Ruin a Date:

• Texting – Hello phone addicts! You know who you are. You’re the people who suffer from text-induced carpel tunnel at age 19. You can’t go through a 50 minute class without conspicuously holding your phone under your desk, irritating those around you with the tickity-tack of your cell phone keys.
  
  If the vibration of the phone in your pocket (or purse) is so overwhelmingly important that you just can’t help reaching for it mid-sentence to respond to your roommate’s message with a big “OMG! LOL! I know!” you have a problem. That problem is called “You have no class.”
  
  Once, I left my phone at home when I went on a date. Guess what happened. My head exploded. No, not really. Nothing happened and the date was great. I dare you to do it.

• Talking about past (or present) relationships – We’ve all been hung up on an ex before. Breakups are rarely enjoyable. Getting over a past love is hard. However, a date is not the place to look for sympathy, therapy, or whatever else it is that you need.
  
  The best way to get over an ex is to move on. That means leaving them behind, not bringing them along as the conversational third wheel on your date. The last thing I want to hear about as we chat over a plate of Gnocchi and unlimited breadsticks at the Olive Garden is how your ex just didn’t appreciate you for who you are, and that’s why you had to break up with them and put yourself back on the market. SHUDDER.

• The Marathon Date – Get it out of your head that a date has to last longer than six hours! If your date ends before midnight, it’s not a failure; it’s actually quite refreshing. Not only that, but it leaves your prospect potentially wanting more of you, and not less. Remember, less is more.

• Talking about yourself – You shouldn’t be dating to prove to others how awesome you are. If you are, you’re a tool and nobody likes you anyway. Get over yourself. Ask your date questions that require more than a yes or no answer. Then, more importantly, listen to their answers! It’s amazing how far this little gem of advice will get you.

• Personal grooming and appearance – As Mason Jennings puts it, “it’s the little details that derail your dreams, as simple as it seems. The separate little things that you should have done define your life, honey, one by one.” Fellas, if your nose looks like the latest addition to the Chia Pet collection, and the back of your neck looks like it could benefit from a couple passes with a lawnmower, you need to take five minutes and do some man-scaping.

What do you think? Anything you would add or take away? Leave your thoughts in the comment section!

Being a cool girlfriend, sorta

If you're at all a girly-girl like me, you haven't played a videogame, like, ever. I grew up with only a sister and we never clamored for the ever-more-expensive game systems (just ever-more-expensive American Girl Doll accessories).

I think I played some version of a pixel-y Mario Brothers when I was nine, with the family friends with the two boys who I thought were incredibly icky.

Even when OhMySarcasm would readily play Super Mario Cart with the boys down the hall in our dorm sophomore year, I would maybe go and watch. I would never play.

I'll admit I was obsessed with both Guitar Hero and Rock Band when they came out - but I've been told these don't "count" as video games. True video games are the thumbs-on-controller, more-nerdy-than-group-activity type.

So for weeks, my bf has been SO excited about the New Super Mario Brothers for Wii coming out. All along he has assured me I would love it. I heard the word Wii and though "Ooo more interactive, I can do this!"

But I also heard the word video game and got nervous about nerdiness, addiction and staying up way past my bedtime.

But, like the good girlfriend I am (I am currently baking chocolate chip pumpkin bread for said bf, like a good, domestic girl), I sat down to play the thumbs-on-controller game. What do you know, it was pretty fun, and I'm slightly addicted - mostly because I want to get better, and not lose five lives in a round while bf gains like 10.

Then bf shows me this article from IGN, where they point out that any Mario game is a great "girlfriend game" because of their cute characters, nostalgic scenes and even a character option who does nothing that involves losing lives or fighting enemies. (I do play a real character, Toad, thankyouvermuch.)

Then I overhear bf talking on the phone to his friend, something like:
bf: "Well, dude, I gotta go. Emma and I are about to start a game."
friend: "Dude, your girlfriend plays video games with you? She's so cool!"
bf: "Well, sorta. It is just Mario."

So there you have it, ladies. How to be a cool, sorta, girlfriend - just give their weird boy hobbies a try.

Sleepless on the Marc Train and the Metro

Every day I see my future husband get on the train. Then I see him leave, with only so much as a smile, on a good day.

In “Sleepless in Seattle,” Meg Ryan’s character travels cross country to seek out the man of her dreams, without knowing she accidentally ran into him at the airport …

I’ve gotta stop watching movies.

No, I’ve gotta stop holding on to my ex.

I can’t seem to find any middle ground. One day I settle, and the next I’ve got my head in the clouds. But here’s why:

It’s tough. You all know I’ve been clinging to my ex like peanut butter, sticky, sugary peanut butter. Because as soon as I decide it’s FINALLY time to for real get over him once and for all, he’s awesome. And then when I FINALLY decide maybe there is hope for us again, he stops regarding/talking to me as much. So then I get on the metro and smile at every remotely attractive man because I think he might be the one. And I so desperately want to be swept away with him, so I stop thinking about my very attractive ex. Because he could be the one who will respond to my text messages or rush home to meet me or celebrate a new job with me or invite me to dinner or make me feel unique or REGARD ME.

Here’s to hoping.

Unlike 99.98765% of movies, this scene actually happens in real life.

I haven't seen The Holiday, but after watching the YouTube clip below and having a friend tell me about it, I must see this movie pronto (do I smell a LOMB sleepover/movie time?)!

Anyways, tonight at dinner with a friend, I was going over the all so dramatic details of my life, which are oddly on repeat and she told me about some scenes in The Holiday that apparently resembled my life (I've always said my life could be a C-rated reality show).

The scenes here are all too common and all too true. The saddest part of all? They often exist because we allow them to happen:

(Answering the question, "Why do I always fall for the bad girl?")

Iris: Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you.

Miles: Exactly, and on top of that there's the old standby, I can't believe a girl like that would actually be with a guy like me.

How many times have we ignored the idiotic actions of some guy just because we were hoping we were wrong or that he'd change or that we would just learn to deal with it?

(I better see everyone's hands in the air).

I'm certainly not innocent.

I put up with too much, I give too much of myself to people that I hope will surprise me. We all do. But where's the line? When do we back away? And it's hard to do, especially for the LOMB girls. We're nice. We love people. We love loving people. Especially when those people are cute boys. It's too easy to give in to a cute boy, even if he is a bad boy.

Whats even worse is knowingly engaging in this behavior. Like, you know it's not healthy, you know its not right. It stinks when you see a friend doing it too. We all know we deserve better than someone who doesn't understand reciprocity and who, as OhMyLaughter said, has the benefit of the "win-win" situation.

All of this is just to say, don't waste time, "the pretty" or your self-esteem for someone who doesn't mind taking it all.

Iris: I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

Wine blogging

Ah, I love the flush that comes on my cheeks from drinking wine with OhMyPassion.

We're sitting here with our college roommate - let's call her Abbey - doing a little bit of girly catch-up. Would you expect any less from us?

Abbey recently broke up with her on-again off-again boyfriend, and, of course, has boys falling at her feet, but is not crazy about any of them. Mostly it's because, like many gentlemen in this world of ours, unfortunately use the worst lines or act wayyyy cooler than they are and/or try wayyyy harder to impress us than necessary.

Come on, guys, we can see right through you.

One particular gentleman took Abbey out on a date. She was excited and surprised that he took her out on a legit date - it so rarely happens these days - at a forreal restaurant with forreal conversation. Except in the conversation she felt stilted because she felt like he was trying to be too fancy. You know, she curses a bit, she likes to quote movies like Superbad - her pet bunny's name is McLovin - and Pineapple Express and is an all-around fun-loving, down-to-earth gal. He, on the other hand, was over-enunciating his words, tried to order for her, and she could see through his pretending-to-be-cool-ness.

So, naturally, she didn't want to continue seeing him and stopped returning his calls.

But he kept calling and leaving voicemails (pshhh how passe!). And get this, ladies, his most recent one was:

"I haven't heard from you...it's been a while. Heh... I don't want to have to erase you from my phone book but..."

Clearly, as Passion just put it, he was trying to get a rise out of her and act way cooler than he really his. However, it's so clear that she's above him. She obviously cares less.

"I'm crying on the inside. He can give that phone book position to another Abbey, " Abbey just said. Oh how I love her sarcasm.

What are the worst lines you have heard, on or off voicemail?

Cheers to Saturday night, wine and good girlfriends!

I, like, do.

I never wore much pink in high school and I was barely caught dead in dresses or skirts – I’ve always tried to stay away from being too girly, but ohhhhhhhhhhhh how I love wedding proposals!

I am quite far from marriage – I don’t even have a boyfriend. I don’t even have a date. But I still like to fantasize about how I could one day end up getting proposed to. It’s not the cheesy romance, and it’s not the frilly froo-froo girlyness of it, it’s the creativity and thought and specialness of it all that really makes my toes curl.

The stock, corny overly romantic ones, on the other hand, make me want to hurl. My two former high school friends (I guess we weren’t really close but I’d still call them friends) pretty much take the cake (HA, pun). Here’s a condensed version of their proposal story posted on their wedding Web site:

Jacob proposed on Saturday, August 15, 2009 in Annapolis and Monica excitedly said YES, of course! They spent a beautiful day exploring the city. They took a boat ride around the harbor and Chesapeake Bay, went to dinner at a restaurant on the water, and then took a horse-drawn carriage ride through the historic parts of town. After, they headed to a local creamery and got ice cream and walked down a dock to see all the city lights. They were sitting on the dock talking about their relationship. Jacob then suggested that they take a picture with all the lights and water behind them. He then walked over to her and she told him he better turn around before the camera flashed. But he just looked at her and told her that the only thing that could make this summer any better would be if she would marry him. He got down on one knee and asked her to be his wife. At this point Monica was absolutely crying and smiling and saying yes.

Blech! I’d need to drink a gallon of water just to drown out all the saltiness of that CHEESE.

My sister’s friend’s sister (heh) got engaged over the summer. Her now fiancé knew how much she loves the “Rocky” movies, so he took her to the famous Rocky steps in Phili and proposed at the top, in front of whoever was there. I understand there was a bit more creativity involved, but I’m not sure the details. But even without, that proposal sounds just splendid to me.

What I like is that he proposed in a non-over-the-top, non-expensive and sans-cheese way that still required thought. If it were me, I’d be overjoyed because not only do I love Rocky, but I also am huge on movies in general. Now that would be a fiancé who really knew me.

I’d like to know what you think ladies, but it would be really nice if a GUY or two chimed in as well. Come on. “Like, OhMyBlog” is meant to be slightly facetious – it’s not all about bows and frills and boyz and crushies; we want your Ops too!

Doing fancy "grown up" stuff

I went to the DMV today. I updated my license with a new picture (the first one sans braces, after the original 15-year-old permit one) and my new non-parent's house address.

Tonight, I'm going to my first book club meeting. (Don't be impressed. We will only read cheesy romance novels and it's made up of the girlfriends of the roommates of my boyfriend. Okay, be impressed if you must!)

Last weekend, my boyfriend and I went to a get-together where the other two couples were married. (Speaking of "non-friends," the new wives compared and contrasted which of their friends actually sent them gifts. I can't decide whose worse - the comparing wives, or the non-gifting friends - in their lameness.)

I felt silly at the DMV. I had to ask the chick behind the desk a lot of questions, and I didn't bring the right form for another DMV transaction I wanted to accomplish.

I'm excited for book club tonight, but I'll definitely be the youngest girl there. Do I bring wine? Do I bring a snack? How will I interact with these more experienced women?

My boyfriend kept making fun of me for being the youngest one at our get-together last weekend. He always is jokingly frustrated when I admit I was too young to see some movie or T.V. show he was obsessed with.

So where am I? Where are we LOMB girls? What is this grown-up thing all about? Are we doing it right? Was there some "how to be a grown up 101" class that I missed in college?

We are SO, Like, "Not Friends"

So a friend of mine has labeled a couple of his former friends “not friends.” Basically, they were at one time friends. He realized they didn’t treat him well. So as far as he’s concerned they are “not friends.”

When he first told me this I thought it was kind of funny that he called them “not friends.” I think the idea is that he can put on a pleasant [enough] face around them but discloses very little details about his life to them. It’s different than an acquaintance where the deal is you may eventually get to know each other better. You already know them…and they just aren’t quality friend material.

His story amused me, but for the most part I keep my friends. I guess there are a few that I haven’t kept in touch with, but the last time I truly wrote off a pair of friends was in 7^th grade. They would definitely count as “not friends.” They started out nice then made fun of me. It sucked at the time. Thank God, “Life goes on.” (Oh Tupac. So true. So true.) I’m not bitter at all about the loss of those friendships and no part of me wishes we were still in touch.

That was until 2009. I now have a third “not friend.” I think I actually struggled to write her off because the idea seemed so foreign. But I realized that it was definitely for the better.

Here are the reasons I came up with:

• A pretty one-sided friendship. I was constantly listening to her problems and trying to help her. Both things I would do for any of my friends without thinking “What’s in it for me?” The few times I really did need her to be there for me though….she wasn’t. Or didn’t have time to do the same sort of favors she asked me to do for her.

• Judging me. She told me she was point blank. I’ll admit I’m not perfect. And have definitely made a few mistakes in 2009. But to judge me for a few regrets I have (and other things I don’t regret at all)…and have NOTHING to do with her isn’t really fair. I know enough details about her life that I could say she’s not an angel. But I haven’t and won’t “judge” her because I don’t operate like that. The way I see it, until you've walked in someone else's shoes you have no place to assess their life based on the one you've experienced.

And then when we get down to the reality of the situation

• I don’t have that much fun with her. She’s less outgoing than my other friends. And can get upset easily.

It almost makes me question…why were we friends to begin with? Oh that’s right, we worked together. And now we don't.

So, what about you? Would you say you judge your friends or try not to? And what are good enough reasons for you to write off a friend? For some reason even though I know it’s definitely the smartest decision, it still took me a while to actually do it. I guess because it’s so out of character. And in case anyone was wondering, of course this isn't a LOMB girl!

Like, what a creep!

We've all been that girl.

My day was a Taylor Swift song

This isn't much of a post, but it's NaBloWriMo and I'm so excited I want to tell everyone, even though I'm trying to keep that to a minimum.

You know when you have a crush on someone, but you're convinced they don't see you in that way?

Or you feel like the guys you really like, just won't like you back?

That's what I had been feeling these two months with the guy I have been pining for.

But no more.

Today, he asked me out.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And the only reasons he hadn't before were because of shyness and thinking that I was pretty and therefore must already have a boyfriend.

Actually I believe the correct word was hot.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(This was not actually said to me, but through a mutual friend, which is how I also found out he was really nervous to ask me out. Me. For once, I wasn't the nervous one.)

Wow. And for those that read my last post about the schmoozer, this is actually the guy from HR I mentioned at the end. We're not going to a football game, - well, not together, but we'll both be attending the last game of the season at our alma mater, but we have a date. And I know I shouldn't get too worked because it could all be wrong, but whatever. I'm sooooooo excited.

So thanks for reading my squealing girly moment.

My Thing

I’ve been struggling with something. The more I try to work it out by myself, the more rationalizing I end up doing, which is one of the least effective ways to work through a struggle. Comments to this post are welcomed and appreciated.

I didn’t always think I’d end up a writer, but I always thought I’d end up following my dream.

In middle school it was sports. In 9^th and 10^th it was theater arts. In 11^th and 12^th it was journalism. In college it was helping. And now more than anything I know it’s writing.

Whatever it ended up being, I always knew I’d be proud of myself because I’d be doing “my thing.”

I always pictured myself in a mediocre apartment with no air conditioning sometimes eating cereal for dinner … but loving every second of it. Because I was doing “my thing.”

And now, for a few years, I probably won’t be doing “my thing.” And it’s killing me.

But I can’t live at home anymore. My life is in a city. It’s time.

I don’t want to introduce myself to people as an employee at a company I know nothing about and for which I have very little interest.

Any advice for me?

It’s so hard to be this ( ) close to your dream job and have it taken away from you. It’s all I can think about. I’ve told myself that moving out and having a salary and health insurance and paying my bills is finally starting to outweigh “my thing,” but I’m really not so sure. Help?

The Schmoozer

We've all met that guy: thinks he's hot stuff, conversation rolls easily off his tongue, and is successful with work and women. He's a guy who is easy to fall for, even though you know it's wrong.

I met one of those guys at work last week. I call him Schmoozer Mark. He's from our DC office, so he isn't around much, which is why I was surprised when he came up to me and told me he remembered seeing me from a work party the week before. Naturally, I was flattered. A cute, confident guy noticed me! He asked me all these questions, seemed interested, etc. When I told him my position, my boss, who was sitting right there, also told him about my semi-promotion I had just received, adding,

"And you can't have her."

Now whether she meant professionally or personally, I don't know, but I have a feeling it was almost a warning to me. Anyway, I left our meeting with the thought I'd never want to date him, but would let him take me out to dinner because I had the feeling he would pick an expensive restaurant.

Flash forward - btw, that show is so not as good as LOST, but I digress - to yesterday, where there was another party that I knew he would attend. I knew I was interested in him, but I was tempted to go partly because he would be there; who isn't flattered by attention? I had to finish up some work first, so I arrived when the party had already gotten under way. And there he was, flirting with an intern (who is actually older than I am). He was making a big deal of her to one of the bosses. And there I was, feeling quiet, somewhat insignificant, and not too surprised. I knew he was that type - I labeled him Schmoozer Mark the minute I met him.

I had a light bulb moment: why do I care that he's not paying attention to me when I'm not actually attracted to him? I don't like his personality, he's too loud, and he's not even that cute. What is it about that schmooziness that some guys possess that makes girls go weak at the knees? I guess it's the confidence - or rather over confidence - that can be attractive. But, ugh, he's just too much.

So I've changed my mind. I would not go out to dinner with him, even if it was to an expensive restaurant. Instead, I'll just let that nice boy in HR take me to a good ol' football game.

Dating: How to be more apprachable and give guys a chance

Yesterday, OhMyHeart totally called me out:

Some of us have no problem rejecting. I've walked down the street with a friend (ahem, OhMyDrama) who has gotten whistled at and the respectable lady in question just glared at him: "No."


And she was right: I don't have a problem rejecting men that I don't have any desire to really get to know, especially when they approach in a lazy, boring, disrespectful manner. However, I'll admit that despite the fact that my standards are high and judgment is quick, I could be more approachable (or maybe just more open). Thankfully, the girls over at TMI Weekly made a great video with some tips on how to be more approachable. Below you'll find some of the tips along with my two cents. Make sure you check out the video after the jump!

• Body language: open up, smile more
  -Your body language says a lot about your demeanor. Slouching and crossing your arms doesn't send approachable vibes. Instead, keep a comfortable posture and smile more.
  

• Try a little bashfulness
  -This doesn't mean be dumb and ditsy. Rather, underplay attributes that might be initially intimidating.
  
  
• Make and keep eye contact
  -This is basic, but definitely not easy to do. Eye contact lets a guy know you're interested and heck, 8.2 seconds of eye contact can potentially lead to love at first sight. When it comes to eye contact, just go for it.
  

• Have a point of conversation
  -This might be cheesy, but it's definitely useful in the long run. Have a mental list of potential topics of conversation. This way, when a guy approaches, you can skip all of that awkward small talk about what you do for a living and those potentially painful moments of silence. As you're chatting it up, keep the conversation light, funny, sarcastic and complementing. Avoid delving too deep into heavy topics at first.
  

• Let them know you like them
  -If you like him, let him know. This isn't to mean tell him you've got your wedding date picked out and you can't wait to raise a family together. Rather, let him know you've enjoyed spending time talking to him and that you'd like to do it again.
  
  
• Simple is sexy: simplify your outfit
  -You don't gotta get all dolled up! Stay cute and stylish but nix the red carpet look. If your wardrobe says more than your mouth, you're not very interesting or approachable. Pick one or two fun accessories to complement a stylishly neutral outfit. I normally add a fun piece of jewelry or a cute pair of flats.

For more on how to be approachable, check out this episode of TMI Weekly

How to: reject a guy with class

So, if beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I suppose rejection can be in the eye of the beholder, too, right?

We all hate being rejected. And we've all had to reject. Some of us would reject a boy in a heart beat, while our girlfriend might think he's super date-able.

Some of us have no problem rejecting. I've walked down the street with a friend (ahem, OhMyDrama) who has gotten whistled at and the respectable lady in question just glared at him: "No."

Some of us are a little afraid to do any form of rejection. Case in point: me.

When I've gotten a pass walking down the street, I kind of laugh awkwardly and indulge in a little small talk before trying to make some sort of walk away excuse. Or, too scared to reject them to their face, I go ahead and offer my number and then reject them over the phone.

Heck, even when I have the "boyfriend" line as an acutaly, legitimate excuse, it's still hard for me to merely turn down boys with that line.

(Let it be known, though, if the guy is a cocky a-hole, all up in my grille - usually this happens on a dance floor - and I'm not buying it, then I have no problem resorting to physical violence. Well, shoving him, anyway.)

Today, I had my actual, legitimate boyfriend coach me through an awkward sorta-rejection situation. He had some very good pointers, from the boy-who-is-getting-rejected point of view:

• Be stern, but be nice and fair. But sternness is the key.
• Be straight and honest with him.
• Do not lead him on in any way, shape or form!

I've gotten the "do not lead him on" speech so many times from guy friends, but somehow, doesn't it just seem easier to not answer his call or say "not tonight," rather than "no, not ever"?

Okay, sorry, I'm wrong! I won't be passive aggressive. I will be stern.

So the stock quote that my bf expert said is a good one is:

"Look, you seem like a nice guy, but I'm just. not. interested."

So then I got worried about another issue. In this "stern" rejection, you are - almost snobbishly - assuming that this dude is into you. What if he's not? What if he's just...trying to get to know you? To be your friend? To add to the female side of his clique?

And my bf - straight from the source - countered with:

"Guys don't go looking for attractive girls to hang out with them to be friends."

So there you have it girls, advice from the expert. Reject with compassion, but be stern and confident. And hopefully you'll avoid the rejection facepalm.

Is Beauty Really in the Eye of the Beholder?

Maxim’s #1 hottie on its 2009 list was Olivia Wilde.


Last year, she was 97.

When she was interviewed this year by E! correspondents, she said she was flattered. “It shows that people think intelligence is sexy,” she said, referring to her current role on “House” as part of the medical diagnostics team.

But no one REALLY knows Olivia. She could be dumb as a box of rocks for all we know. So I have to wonder – how did she jump so far ahead in one short year? I think Maxim did some soul searching, and decided to put more personality into the new list (Michelle Obama made the list at #93!).

Maxim, really? Maxim is a magazine that is widely known for … just … loving boobs and butt and g-strings. Let’s be real. Is Maxim trying to be something it’s not? Or does the staff really just go nutty for Mrs. Obama’s rippling biceps?

I think we’re all a little confused about how we define beauty. It’s the same disconnect we have about trying to define what our “type” is .

I checked out Maxim’s 2009 list. I then rearranged all 100 ladies according to my brain’s opinion. (I did it at the end of a work day – got the co’s involved – good timez.) Their new positions on the list seemed much more fitting. I clearly do not know any of these celebrities, so I did it based solely on my opinion of their physical appearances. But what I want to know is, how did I do this? Why did I put Mila Kunis and Kate Beckinsale so high up and Megan Fox (sorry, I just don’t see the appeal) so low?

You can say that you prefer dark hair and that classic, all-American look, or you can say you prefer pixie haircuts on an exotically complexioned woman. But that is just too broad. Because lots of women who are from Barbados just like Rihanna are labeled as “ugly.” Even though they’ve got all the same, similar features. And the same goes for men.

So what is it about humans that strikes us? Is it the space between our noses and upper lips (thanks, OhMyHeart)? Because it can’t just be round buttocks on a tiny waist – you put Donald Trump's head on that figure and I don’t care what you say, that ain’t pretty.

BTW, here were, in my opinion, the top seven most beautiful women on Maxim’s list (since we always do this with boys, I thought I’d give the ladies a chance):

7. Jennifer Love Hewitt
6. Elisha Cuthbert
5. Julianne Hough
4. Rachel Bilson
3. Zoe Saldana
2. Mila Kunis
1. Kate Beckinsale

Like, Running and Boys and Music

They are all related, maybe because they are interests in my life.

[It's NaBloPoMo aaaagain. This is how our blog really took off last year. We got consistent with our postings and some of our loyal followers found us. Yes, we realize we are, like, 3 days late. So we'll be celebrating NaBloPoMo until, like, December 3rd.]

I'm a runner. Well, I'm about go run my second half marathon this weekend, so I guess that makes me a runner. I really don't feel like one. More like a girl with a hobby who is passionate about working out. Regardless, running has about 3 purposes in my life.

1. Endorphins. One would think the farther you run the more tired you would be. But for some reason, the longer the runs I go on, the more energy/bubbliness I seem to have to face the world when I'm done.

2. Coping Mechanism. It's pretty impossible to stay upset about anything when you are running. Life's disappointments. Boys. Boys. (No really, I love you boys. But if one of your kind upsets me, running plays a huge part in keeping me from staying bitter, angry, or becoming jealous.)

3. Sports/Music. If I'm going to be watching a game anyway, I may as well watch a good chunk of it on a treadmill vs. sitting on my butt eating and drinking. And long runs give me a great opportunity to listen to tons of music. Hip hop, pop, punk rock, rock, oldies, beach music, and country to name a few genres.

Running long distances has caused me to stop and listen to artists I might not otherwise if I were just driving in the car. For example, I've recently come to fully appreciate Sugarland. A lot of the the groups songs describe dating,love, and life in a way unlike any other music I've heard.

Since our blog is all about dating, I figured I should post one. I decided on, "Want To." While not one of the group's newest songs, the lyrics + the acting is super relatible. It's all about crossing that line, and the grayness of dating/hooking up, and trying to figure out what you and the other person want. All concepts I know NOTHING about. Kidding. Enjoy!