Listen up, Ladies: Lead by Example

Another guest post from our "tell it like it is" male contributor, Jake

To all the ladies…So you’re in a relationship, or dating, or exclusively dating, or whatever…and your guy isn’t treating you like a queen. So, what do you do?

Lead by example.

Ladies, we’re not that smart. Really, we’re not. Here are a few simple tips to help you get your guy to treat you like you want to be treated….

Issue: He doesn’t surprise you with flowers, or other gifts.
Solution 1: We forget to do things to make you feel special. Like I said, we’re not that smart. We need to be reminded. But don’t remind us by telling us, because we then have an unspoken 3-week buffer where we can’t do anything for you, because you’re expecting it. If you want to be surprised, surprise him! Get him a non-cheapo gift out of the blue, he’ll realize how special he feels and he’ll want to return the favor.

Solution 2: Get him a subscription to a magazine like Men’s Health. Magazines geared towards men have women on their writing staff, and they help reinforce how important it is to treat your woman like a queen. It’ll take a little time for him to get the hint, but it’ll come through.

Issue: He won’t stop answering his phone when you’re hanging out.
Solution: Turn off your phone, too. Tell him you want to spend true one-on-one time and to do that, you’re going to turn off your phone and put it in your bag. See if he’s willing to join you in a non-technology outing. No phones for either of you – make it fair.

Issue: He never knows what to get you for your birthday, anniversary, or holidays.
Solution: Get him to know your best girl friends. Encourage them to swap numbers. Your best friends know what you want. Encourage them to talk, and as much as you might want to be nosey, don’t try to get in the middle of it – let him surprise you.

Issue: He gets more excited to see his friend than he does you.
Solution: Trying to say this as nice as I can, get over it. He might not have seen his friends (girl or guy) for a few weeks or months, but he sees you 3-4 times a week. Just like you get excited to see your long lost friends, he does too. If you want him to get that excited, make him miss you. If you normally hang out 3-4 times a week, let 5 or 6 days go by and then get excited to see him – he’ll return the favor. [More on this in a later post.]

Issue: He doesn’t want to meet your parents.
Solution: He actually might want to meet your parents, if he likes you and if he wants to invest serious time into your relationship, he most likely does want to meet them. He knows it’ll make you happy. But instead of his first meeting being a 4-day weekend during the holidays with your 25 relatives (that’s overload for a guy), let the first interaction be casual. When your parents are in town for lunch, get him to join then. Or maybe a dinner your parents are going to, invite him to that. Keep it relaxed, nothing too fancy. Fancy and extended ‘hang outs’ will come.

Issue: He doesn’t listen to you while he’s watching TV.
Solution: Talk to him during the commercials. Hate to break it to you, but if he’s been hanging with you, giving you attention all day, he needs some time to zone out and watch TV. During the last quarter of a tied football game, you’re going to get the same response out of him as you will out of the dog…wait until the commercials.

Til next time,

Jake